This is what I'm listening to now.
Consider it a reward for finding your way here.
Also, I apologize if you find today's entry lacking in humor.
Surprisingly, despite my chronic absences and distinct lack of giving a flying fuck in the past year (or two), I was present, not to support a friend, but to receive an award of my own. Really, this does come as a minor surprise to me. Why? To answer that, let's briefly take a look at why, for the past year or so, I've been a horrible student.
At one point, man oh man, there was a time when I wasn't apathetic toward my learning experience in public school. I was determined to get A's in every last, damned class if it killed me, and it wasn't just because I was being bribed to do so. No, it was a matter of honor. If I couldn't be at the top of the heap in all of my classes, it would be considered a smudge on my otherwise impeccable - except for middle school - record, and I was perfectly willing to go ahead and commit seppuku right there in the middle of the commons if it came to it. I made up hours in P.E., made up time for percussion, did most of the extra credit that came my way (because having 105% in a class isn't enough over-achievement, not even once), and was generally a smug-ass individual about my obviously superior intellect as indicated by my equally obviously superior grades.
For those of you who are riding a slow pony, I'm not like that any more. You want evidence? Okay. I got a C in P.E. That alone demonstrates a level of does-not-give-a-rat's-ass so great, that it's almost like I was unconsciously trying to get a bad grade. Like, my brain realized that if I didn't get a C sometime soon, I'd seriously screw myself over in college or something.
And then there's the fact that I've missed an average of one day a week since the beginning of the year - this term alone it's closer to 1.5 days a week. Now, we've already established that I have an actually-cares-about-this level of about negative two when it comes to school, yeah? So, naturally, my grades are... significantly better than average? I have A's in all but one class. What the flying fish monkey is this? That one class. Yeah, it's piano and it's only a bad grade because I've been absent so much. I could just make up time, and Bam!, look at that, another straight-A report card. Seriously, LHS, you've got to be kidding.
So, given the evidence presented, it is not entirely outlandish to postulate that I really don't deserve to be ranked 27th in my class (last I checked). And yet I am. I've even got a medal, as of tonight, because of it. And, hey, I've got an honors diploma and four specializations. What the hell is this? I don't even-.
If I were to try and find a moral in all of my high school experiences, it's this: you don't have to show up to be successful. This is, of course, completely and utterly untrue for most students and has absolutely no real world application. My brain recognizes this. My head, however, will need to experience total defeat before it realizes that my brain is, once again, the smarter of the two. See, my brain's smart, it knows all kinds of things, like the fact that that thing on the lawn mower doesn't even look like a fuel primer and actually looks suspiciously like a screw attached to the engine and that we probably shouldn't touch it because it will. Oh, look at that, head, you decided to go ahead and press it, and now your thumb has a circular burn. My head is so stupid.*
Well, on the bright side, my brain is smart enough to recognize that I've been procrastinating on my homework by working on my novel, thereby voiding my procrastination entirely. My head is too stupid to figure it out, so maybe I'll continue to churn out words at an alarming pace for the next week or two. Somewhere in there, I'll find time for the homework that I have yet to finish. Maybe.
*Yes, that was a reference to Doctor Who.
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