I hardly expect it to get popular in the least, largely because it probably won't ever have a focus. It'll include its fair share of politics, dieting, artsy stuff, writing related things, and probably anything else that happens to cross my mind. Because I write on impulse, man. It'll also, probably contain a fair number of curse words - most notably "Fuck," which is a very versatile word and can be used in almost any context.
On the bright side, if you're looking for something humorous, and, possibly, inflammatory or (at least) serious in some way, you've come to the right place, since I'm usually pretty great at executing both.
With that in mind, let's move on with out first topic ever: Me. Well, actually, this will probably be a continued theme throughout the (likely short) existence of this blog. I'm kind of self-centered that way. But this post is an introduction to the me that exists at this very moment (11:25 PM on November 2nd, 2010).
We'll start with the main reason I decided to start this blog: to guilt myself into actually losing some weight on my diet. I have been struggling with my weight since I was about five years old. Some of the world's fucktards would assume that I simply have subsisted mainly on cake, pie, and lard for the last thirteen years - and they'd be utterly and completely wrong, and not simply because the cake is a lie. Growing up, we rarely had all the shit that is supposed to make kids fat - cookies, candy, pie, cake: all that garbage was a rarity in my household. In fact, we ate what the government insists in healthy food: whole grains, vegetables, fruit. You've seen the food pyramid, right? Well, we followed that pretty closely. And we just kept getting bigger.
Around the time I entered sixth grade, we decided to try low-carbing it. At the time, I weighed over two hundred pounds, and I was, like 5' 6". It was obvious that something needed to change, or I'd be royally fucked for life. You have no idea how difficult that was. Back then, bread was one of my favorite foods. I loved pasta, rice, and potatoes. So giving those things up was difficult. But it was worth it. I managed to get my weight just below two hundred.
Then we screwed up. We started buying all that "low-carb" stuff. You know, the stuff marketed to Atkins dieters? I put all the weight back on, plus some. After some ups and downs, I eventually came to a point where I was maintaining my weight at, like two-twenty. Well, this was right before my mother decided that she was feeling crappy half the time, and that it might have been the lack of carbs. Initially we only planned to include a few. One meal a week, right? That quickly turned into 3-4 meals a week that included either pasta, rice, or potatoes. My weight shot up to 275 lbs.
Around this time, my helpless father was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. If you haven't looked into the effect diabetes can have on the body, you should look into it - that's some scary shit. This spurred my mother to devote some of her time to researching diets and whatnot, because Dad didn't have (and still doesn't have) health insurance and if we could manage his condition with a diet change, we were going to or die trying. From there she discovered some lovely blogs on the subject of low-carb dieting. My father and I both showed great improvement and, at one point, he was able to stop using his insulin entirely. In the year since, I've managed to lose 25 pounds which, while not being the most astonishing example of weight loss ever, is great, particularly since I haven't been watching myself very closely at all. Inevitably her pursuit of knowledge led her to discover the paleo community, which is actually the main system we've been following for the time between then and now.
And that, my friends, brings us to this very moment in time. My goal for this blog, ultimately, is to log my attempts at getting to a healthy weight. Based on my height (5' 8") and bone structure (not dainty, if that's what you're thinking), I've guesstimated that, barring muscle-weight, 180 lbs is a more than reasonable weight to shoot for. Heck, I'd be happy with 200 lbs, right now - since I can see the merits of my physique now - I do have a nice figure if you look at me from the front - and I can imagine myself being acceptably attractive fifty pounds from now. Fifty, by the way, is an estimate, as I haven't really weighed myself lately - I'm guessing I actually weigh less than I think I do, since my current estimate (250) is based on data from several weeks ago, and I've been relatively good since then.
So, that's my story. It's not a particularly sad one, I suppose. Heck, if I wanted to I could do what all the other fat girls my age do - pretend it's acceptable. Except that it is not acceptable to be fat. Ever. It's not a natural state. And anyone who says otherwise is an idiot.
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